


The Cardinal of Sin - Omakes

by Jade_Tatsu



Series: The Sorcerer King [3]
Category: Overlord - Maruyama Kugane & Related Fandoms
Genre: Adventure, Drama, Gen, Humour, OMAKES, Peroroncino needed help, Save Ainz from Albedo, wtf?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Tatsu/pseuds/Jade_Tatsu
Summary: The Omakes from the Cardinal of Sin. There's four of them but I just put them in the same chapter.Have a laugh.





	The Cardinal of Sin - Omakes

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to PervySageChuck for beta-ing and inspiration

**The Cardinal of Sin  
** **Omakes**

-cos-

**Number 1 - From Chapter 1, Part 5**

" **We also sell invisible barf bags…"**

Idea: PervySageChuck  
Writing: Jade Tatsu/PervySageChuck

-cos-

**Slane Theocracy, Kami Miyako**

Olufemi made sure she walked carefully this morning. The entire city was on edge. Of course it was. They had all been woken up by the scream this morning. It was cold and harsh. The voice had grated upon the souls of all. She could tell that, because around her there were many people making their way to the Cathedral, far more than usual.

There were the normal ones. Those who always went for the alms that were given out each day, but this was abnormal. There were hundreds streaming towards the six cathedrals commonly known as God's Houses. She could see Uttarn there. He was a thug. His short sword was on his back. Most of the time he forgot to use it. He preferred his fists, but even he was heading towards the church. They all felt the need this morning.

A flutter from the corner of her eye caught her attention. Olufemi wasn't the only one to see it, and she looked up. There was something falling from the sky. It didn't look hard. It looked almost like a leaf, but she realised it was paper. Thousands of them. She looked around. It was difficult to tell given that the buildings were all two stories but as far as she could see there were papers everywhere. She took a few steps forward, and peered into an alley. The length of straight street let her see further. Yes, the papers were everywhere.

Several fluttered down around her. Olufemi leaned down to pick one up. There was writing on it, accompanied by a sketch of something… The sketch was crude but she couldn't tell what it was of. She strained her memory. She had been taught to read. She didn't make much of it. It was a skill that was useful but she had to be careful. Most men in the slums didn't like to think a woman was better than them.

She peered at the writing.

What the hell did Emporium mean? She understood the rest of the first sentence though. 'General Store' were words she'd seen often enough but there were lots more under it and she didn't recognise all of them.

There were others reading, and several were doing so aloud. Olufemi moved towards one who appeared to be confident of his dictation, though his voice was laced with disbelief.

" _Come on down to Ol' Pervy's Emporium and General Store,"_  the man read, holding the paper high. He knew he was gathering an audience. Even having the man read it, she still didn't know what Emporium meant though.

" _We have a huge supply of the latest magically enhanced protective underwear, guaranteed to prevent any sudden loosening of the bladder or bowels from leaking out!"_  
  
Huh? What? This was an ad? Well, that sort of made sense given that the first line was about a store but an ad for underwear? But why would anyone need something to prevent the loosening of the bladder? The man continued reading.

" _Wearing Ol' Pervy's underwear will save you from severe embarrassment due to the unbelievable fear caused by any sudden appearance of the Supreme Being or any of his Guardians from the Sorcerous Kingdom! Guaranteed, or your money back*."_  
  
So far Olufemi was following it but she did wonder what the small mark beside the word was for. She could look into that later. The man read on.

" _We have all sizes! From petite Evileye size to our extra-extra-large Martial Lord model!_

" _Captain Nigun swears by their effectiveness. 'Wearing Ol' Pervy's Underwear has saved this miserable wretch from many shameful incidents, especially that time I was stupid enough to raid Carne Village!'"_  
  
Olufemi frowned. Nigun was the name of the Sunlight Scripture's Captain, except he was dead. The Theocracy didn't want to admit it but someone had taken out the Scripture. Of course, in the Capital that didn't mean much. They still had the Black Scripture but something like that reverberated through every layer of the Theocracy.

" _Brain Unglaus has said, 'Without Ol' Pervy's Underwear, my encounter with Shalltear Bloodfallen would have been much more disastrous!'"_  
  
Who was that? Olufemi had never heard of either of them! Was this some sort of joke? The man read on. She could tell there were only a few more lines.

" _Even Emperor Jircniv has declared that he never attends a meeting with Lord Ainz without wearing a pair of Ol' Pervy's Underwear. Our newest branch has just opened in Kami Miyako, so come on down to Ol' Pervy's Emporium and get your own pair of Ol' Pervy's Underwear! Protect your personal dignity because you never know when you might step around the corner and find yourself face to face with His Majesty, the Sorcerer King of the Sorcerous Kingdom, Lord Ainz Ooal Gown!"_  
  
The man roared with laughter, though to Olufemi's ears she could hear a slight note of hysteria. It had been the Sorcerous Kingdom which had woken everyone this morning with that horrible screaming. The entire city had heard the declaration of war. And now this… Suddenly it wasn't as funny.

Olufemi looked back to the paper in her hands as the crowd began breaking up. There were several talking about the pamphlet and wondering where this Emporium was and what the prices were. She was looking at the mark she had noted earlier. There was another mark of the same type near the bottom of the paper. The writing was very small.

_* Refunds only available to those who survive._

-cos-

**Number 2 - From Chapter 3, Part 2**

**Fluder's introduction to Ashurbanipal**

Idea: PervySageChuck  
Writing: Jade Tatsu

-cos-

**Great Tomb of Nazarick, Ashurbanipal**

Fluder felt his knees go weak. He had seen libraries before. He was responsible for much of the funding that went into the main library of the Baharuth Empire but those were simple libraries. This was… This was magnificent. The fittings were first class. Gold highlights were everywhere and he could see cases upon cases of books. Fluder could even see more books on an upper level. There was a grand staircase leading up to that level. There was plush red carpet on the floor that muffled sound.

Before him were several tables, and there were several desks lining one of the walls. When he had sworn his loyalty to the Sorcerer King, Ainz Ooal Gown, it had been for the opportunity to peer into the Abyss of Magic. This was… This was almost as good.

He was drawn forward. The books called to him. What did the library of a being as powerful as Ainz Ooal Gown contain? What secrets of magic were written there, just waiting to be discovered? He trembled at the thought.

"May I help you?"

Fluder almost jumped at the soft question. He spun to view the speaker. Exposure to His Majesty Ainz Ooal Gown had gone some way to desensitise him to the presence of undead, but he could not say he was completely used to them. This one was another lich but it appeared to have some sort of horns adorning its skull. The skeleton wore a red gown with a head cowl. There was a jewelled bracelet on one hand and large golden amulet was slung around its neck. From the tone of the voice, Fluder thought it was male and as the lich stepped forward, he noted that the feet were hoofed.

He wondered what he should ask.

"I am Titus Annaeus Secundus," the lich introduced itself. "Chief Librarian of Ashurbanipal."

Fluder nodded. "I am Fluder Paradyne, formerly the Imperial Court Wizard of the Baharuth Empire."

"Ah, another human," Titus said.

"Another?" Fluder hadn't heard that there was another human in the Great Tomb of Nazarick.

The lich waved one ringed hand to dismiss the matter. "She has been moved to E-Rantel," Titus explained. "Since you are new here, shall I give you a tour?"

Fluder nodded enthusiastically.

Titus stepped in front of him, gesturing towards the rows and rows of books. "This is the Great Library of Ashurbanipal," he said. "It is the cumulative work of the Forty One Supreme Beings. Every book was chosen by them."

Paradyne didn't know who the Forty One Supreme Beings were. He'd only ever heard of Six Gods, and the Thirteen Heroes were strong but were not considered Supreme.

"There are books on many topics here. Even magic," the lich added.

Fluder didn't blush. It was an obvious jab at his obsession but the lich didn't appear to be mocking him. Instead it led him to one of the closest bookshelves. Their feet made no sound on the deep carpet. Fluder could feel that it was velvety. Closer to the bookshelf, Fluder could see that there were other objects stored with the books.

"No book may be taken outside of the Great Tomb of Nazarick," Titus told him. "If you wish to borrow any of the books, you must see one of the Librarians, though there are some books that may not be borrowed."

The former Court Wizard was listening, he really was, except one of titles had caught his attention. His eyes locked on to it and almost without being aware of it, Fluder felt his hands reach out to pull the book from the group. "How to Hunt Gods for Fun and Profit" was not a title he had expected to see here.

"Ah," Titus said, seeing the book he had chosen.

Fluder turned it over, looking at the cover. It was a simple leather cover, though the title was embossed in gold. Beneath it was the author's name. "Ulbert Alain Odle," he sounded the words out. He'd never heard of anyone named that.

"That book is one that may not be borrowed," the librarian said.

"I've never seen anything like it," Fluder admitted.

"Of course not!" Titus replied immediately. "That book was written by one of the Supreme Beings!"

"They hunted gods?"

"Regularly," the lich waved one hand to dismiss the question.

"Do you have other books by them?"

This time Titus gave him a knowing look. Despite having a skeletal face, the expression was clear. The lich reached out and gently took the book from Fluder's now weak hands to re-shelve it. "Of course." The lich turned away. Fluder eagerly followed as he was led past several shelves.

They turned through several long corridors made by the shelves until in the distance, Fluder could see a pedestal. There was a thick book lying on the top of it. A glass dome was over it. Even from this distance Fluder could feel the magic radiating from the dome. The lich approached fearlessly. He wasn't so certain. There was an edge to the magic that made him feel uncertain.

The book was red. Words were written on it in gold but even without understanding the language, Fluder knew that the script was at least partially decorative. He just looked at the book. With the protections around it, it had to be one of the keys to the Abyss of Magic!

Titus seemed content to let him examine it. "Don't touch!" the lich warned suddenly. Fluder didn't even realise his hand had moved towards the dome. He snatched his hand back at the warning.

"What is it?" Fluder whispered.

"Lord Peroroncino said this was the greatest source of knowledge in the world. But his sister, Lady Bukubukuchagama, said it was too dangerous to allow to be read. It is she who put this lock and unbreakable magic seal on it."

Fluder looked back at the book. Even without knowing he could tell that the seal was powerful yet he had never heard of anyone named Bukubukuchagama. If she could cast a spell of this level, he should have! Even as a legend. Surely she would have been one of the Gods? He examined the writing again. "I don't recognise the language."

"I know of the language, but I do not speak it," the librarian said. "It is a dead language, though I believe that the title, in that language is pronounced 'Ah Compleet Hestori uv Hyooman Deepravatee ahnd Peervarsitee'. It was written by Paarveesaejchakku."

Fluder looked at the book. It had to contain so much information if it was sealed. He turned back to the lich.

The undead sighed. "No one but Lord Ainz Ooal Gown knows what that means and he has said, quite emphatically, that he will never break Lady Bukubukuchagama's spell."

-cos-

**Number 3 - From Chapter 4, Part 6**

**The Cardinal's Desperate Act**

Idea: PervySageChuck  
Writing: Jade Tatsu

-cos-

**Slane Theocracy, Kami Miyako, Catacombs**

Cardinal Maximilian looked at the barrier. He could feel it but he lacked the skills to interact with it. But those who could stood with him along with two Knights of the Theocracy who carried a stretcher. There was an old man lying on it. He was covered in a blanket but was drooling. It would have been kinder to kill him, but Hajin was Godkin and even in this state he could serve the Theocracy.

Zetsumei had refused to be a power source for Lord Surshanna's First Follower but Maximilian had asked Yvon for details. The power source did not have to be conscious. They just had to have power. Hajin had it. If he died in this, the Cardinal of Darkness was sure that Hajin would be pleased.

"We've made the connections," one of the Priests said.

Maximilian nodded. He shifted his robes, making sure the sigil of Lord Surshanna was visible. The others present copied his gesture. "Bring down the shield," he instructed.

It took a moment before there was a flash of light. Maximilian knew the barrier was down by the cold negative energy that was now swirling through the corridor. The torches spluttered and he thought they burned lower. Hajin moaned but he couldn't pay attention to that.

With the barrier gone, there was a footstep. Another followed it, and all too soon Maximilian was staring at Lord Surshanna's First Follower. He had seen images of the creature before but actually being in its presence was different.

"Humph… Cardinal," the First Follower snorted.

Maximilian nodded.

"Lord Surshanna has not descended," the creature said.

"No," Maximilian agreed, "but the Theocracy is threatened."

It cocked its head. "The Theocracy is always threatened," the First Follower mocked.

For a moment, the Cardinal of Darkness wondered if this had been the right choice. No! He could not doubt. "It is directly threatened this time," he indicated. The Eight Greed Kings might have threatened the Theocracy directly but they had fallen into conflict with each other before they could turn their attention here. The Evil Deities had been brought down before they could do more than interrupt some of the Theocracy's plans.

"What have you stirred up?" the First Follower huffed.

"There is an undead-"

"An undead?" There was no hiding the disbelief in the Creature's voice. "You can't destroy one undead? How far has the Theocracy fallen?"

"It is more powerful than anything we have ever seen," Maximilian pressed. "It calls itself Ainz Ooal Gown."

The First Follower jerked. "What did you say?" It demanded.

"The undead calls itself Ainz Ooal Gown," Maximilian repeated.

The First Follower shuddered. "You got into a fight with Ainz Ooal Gown?" it asked, incredulously.

"It is just one undead!"

"It is not just one undead! Ainz Ooal Gown is a force of nature, a nightmare! They do not accept excuses or apologies. They do not accept anything but blood. Ainz Ooal Gown will hunt you down to kill you. Then they will resurrect you, so they can torture you before they kill you again!"

"I am not fighting Ainz Ooal Gown! Not for you! If Lord Surshanna was here, I'd have to but he'd be telling you the same thing I am. You have one chance with Ainz Ooal Gown and one only. Bend over and kiss your arse goodbye, before they do it for you!"

"I am out of here!"

"But you are Lord Surshanna's First Follower!" Maximilian objected, pushing his fear away.

The creature leaned forward. The Cardinal of Darkness got the impression it was grinning at him. "And you can't control me," it laughed, right before it vanished.

Maximilian stared at the spot where it had been standing. He ignored the rattle of Hajin's breath. He'd heard that note before and knew the godkin was doomed. He just kept staring at the spot the First Follower had stood in.

What the hell had they done?

-cos-

**Number 4 - From Chapter 6, Part 2**

" **OH, NO!"**

Idea: PervySageChuck  
Writing: Jade Tatsu

-cos-

**Great Tomb of Nazarick, Throne Room**

The Cardinal of Darkness, Maximillian Oreio Lagier stared up at the undead. There was an array of other monsters standing with the Sorcerer King but he kept staring at the undead. He looked so much like the statues of Lord Surshanna. As that God's Cardinal, Maximilian was intimately familiar with the Theocracy's God of Darkness.

This was just another undead! He kept telling himself that. Except, in the undead's hands he could see his diary. It was held with a scroll he knew came from Yvon's office. He had seen the Cardinal of Light agonising over it many times. The scroll was a legacy from the Gods. Not the original of course. Not even the Cardinals would risk the original but it was a good copy. They didn't know what it said but they knew it had been written by one of the Gods. That's why the Cardinals were trying to translate it.

"I should have known from the name of your Theocracy that it was weak," the undead said. "The very name symbolises unrealistic and unsupportable ideals," he added, shaking its head.

"It is the name of the Gods!" Maximilian recognised Dominic's shout.

The undead chuckled. "Surshanna Luoja Alah Numen Endeusar."

With every name the undead spoke, Maximilian felt his eyes widen. Those were the true names of the Gods. The names only the Godkin and Cardinals knew.

"Of course, that does forget Astvats but he always was just a follower."

Maximilian swallowed. "How?" He demanded, his voice nowhere near as strong as he wanted it to be. How did this infidel know the names of the Gods? That was impossible.

The undead sat back in its throne. It was a magnificent creation, dominating the room so that the eye was drawn to the abomination that was sitting in it. The undead filled it well. It did not appear diminutive within it. It was as if the throne had been designed for him. It probably had been. This was the undead's lair, though it felt wrong for it to possess such a thing of beauty. Undead could only destroy, they could not create.

"Why would I not know my own son's name?" The undead retorted.

"What?" Maximilian yelled. That was impossible! It was… he had no idea what it was. He didn't want to think about it.

"Surshanna was banished from my Kingdom," the undead said. It was as if it was discussing the weather. "I find it amusing that he and his followers ran to this world-" The undead laughed. "-and then set up humans to be their followers! It just validates my reasons for banishing him, that he could not garner stronger followers."

No, this wasn't happening, it wasn't true. Maximilian stared at the undead. It looked exactly like Surshanna. Exactly like him. In every detail. He felt sick.

-cos-

_Later_

Ainz walked down the corridor of Nazarick. He was heading for his chamber. He needed a rest. Dealing with the Cardinals of the Theocracy had mentally tired him, and a few hours just lying on his bed would be a welcome diversion. He couldn't sleep but he could rest.

"My Lord." He recognised Albedo's voice.

"Albedo?" he questioned her, turning towards the succubus. He took an unconscious step back from the way her eyes burned.

She rushed up to him, pushing him back against the wall. He felt a stab of concern. He'd seen her like this before. "You had a child with an unworthy woman!" she hissed. "I will give you a child you can be proud of!"

For a moment, Ainz didn't know what she was talking about. Then he remembered what he had told the Cardinals. Oh, no!

"Albedo!" He said urgently, trying to grasp her arms. She was stronger than him.

"I will not fail you like that hussy!" She continued.

"Albedo!" He tried again. How did he tell her he'd just made that up? How could he tell her? He pushed her back, not caring how his hands pressed into her soft breasts. "Albedo, it wasn't true," he said the instant she was looking at him.

"What wasn't true?" She asked.

"What I said to the Cardinals. Surshanna isn't my son," Ainz said quickly. "That untruth was designed to hurt them," he added, trying to make her understand.

Albedo nodded. She seemed to sigh in relief. Then she smiled at him. It was sultry and seductive. "Then I will breed you a worthy son!" She announced.

OH, NO!

-cos-

Surshanna – known name  
Luoja – Finnish for God  
Alah Alaf – known name  
Numen – Latin for God  
Endeusar – Portuguese for God  
Astvats – Armenian for God

-cos-


End file.
